We go to a large shopping centre at least once a week. At each shopping centre, whether it be a local small mall or an extremely large complex, my girlfriend finds a shop for baby nursery equipment, bedding, mobiles, toys, décor, haberdashery, etc. She wants me to admit that the small bed and teddy bear blanket is cute.
The issue is not in her taste of blanket design, but the frequency of this occurance. Some people must visit a pet store every time they visit the shopping mall. Some people have to visit the horse betting agency. I get a large takeaway coffee each visit, then walk around with that in my hand. I like looking at tools, surfboards, real music CDs, action movies and electronics on display. I admit that I am prone to the impulse purchase too. I think that the problem here is that she never buys anything from these shops. Always looks without buying. At least 15 minutes spent in each store with babies/kids’ gear.
Image courtesy of {link:http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/}FreeDigitalPhotos.net{/link}
This is only an issue because I’m paranoid. I probably ignore the other shops she’s looking at and I don’t freak out as much when she looks at jewellery or adult clothing. But I do freak out when she picks up a small pyjama set and asks me “do you think this looks cute?”. Sometimes, she’ll show me two small blankets. One pink and one blue. She’ll ask me which one I prefer. See, it’s a trick question. I prefer blue, but maybe that’s saying that I’d prefer a boy, instead of a girl. This is worse than Australia’s matriarchal referendum question: Do you want a queen, or do you want a president overseer/dictator/ruler?
She doesn’t have any dolls, kids, nieces or nephews. No friends with young kids. Not expecting. I think she wants a baby. She likes to play with young kids when we see them, and take my young cousins out for ice cream. She has a dog. I don’t think she’s totally ignorant to the responsibilities. She has a lot of love to give.
Even if she’s sending me signals or wants me to read between the lines, the question can’t be asked directly anyway. If she just blurted it out. “I want a child”. This wouldn’t be any better. Not easier. I’d still avoid the subject just the same. Maybe I should send her signals on how I don’t want a child. Maybe I take her shopping too much. Maybe.
Nothing wrong with kids. Kids are spiritually rewarding. A great complement to a great relationship with the woman you love. I already have a deep love for my younger brother and sister. I’m so proud of them and their achievements. I’ve done some teaching as a prior profession and felt proud and rewarded for my efforts. Parenthood will be different, I feel. It’s the “mini-me” aspect that’ll freak me out. Things that make my child remind me of the girlfriend. Things that make my child remind me of myself. Maybe it’s the same feeling of anxiety before one purchases their first car, or house. Once I’ve made the leap. Once I’ve decided to have a child, that’s it. Mostly, the rest will come naturally.
For now, I’ll think it over. Maybe she doesn’t want kids. Maybe she just likes small blankets and baby longjohns.
Image: Crying baby by alvarez-tostado
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mick
August 9th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Lucky man, your girlfriend must be a good mother for your kidz.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
actually u couldnt cry under water because when you cry you inhale and exhale quite frequently wich would make you drown
October 13th, 2009 at 10:07 am
hey,looks like we’re on the same path. good stuff! come by and say hi! cheers Reginald Melchor
October 19th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
the speed of dark is the sam as the speed of light, it’s just right behind light