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So you decided to move in together but nirvana only works in theory. This is true for most people. Statistics show that ’space’ is only good for 5% of couples of less than 3 years. Don’t worry, most couples manage space with friends doing things like shopping or playing golf. There are many ways to watch your space management, but take caution.
Remember that friend from work that left for another job last year? Remember how close you were? Months later, you don’t even talk to each other besides the odd SMS or Facebook appearance. One of the main reasons for this inability to stay close is because you both become too comfortable with your new found space.
One of the main advantages of space is the rediscovery of self, friends, old hobbies, return of some good habits and some bad. The space apart can help friendships with work colleagues or house mates, too. When you have a holiday or go for a road trip, then return exhausted, dirty and uncomfortable, you appreciate your car, your house and your loved ones. My wife & I like to separate ourselves for some activities so we can enjoy each other’s company together. I like to take a surfboard and a book to the beach, by myself, on my own schedule, grab a bite to eat when I’m ready, then sleep it off in the afternoon sun. My wife likes to wake up early to greet new fashion on display at any of Sydney’s department stores, window shop for hours procrastinating whether she should go back and buy the last jacket on display.
Looking at disadvantages, people often confuse space with misdirected anger. If I believe my mate didn’t return my last call, I won’t call again until they have called me. Time management has to come into play here. You must be responsible, otherwise distance will be perceived as ignorance. If you’re stubborn like me, you’ll never ring anyone first, ever. Sometimes you’re not sure when it’s best to stop giving each other space. I’ve hidden behind tall people, pillars, trees and traffic to avoid the uncomfortable reunion with an old friend or ex girlfriend.
In order to take space apart, a discussion of the ’space’ duration and other rules/parameters should be discussed in advance. You can’t attend the same functions without making each other feel awkward. If you live in a different suburb or town, you can get away with time apart easier than working near each other. You need to use the space apart effectively. You cannot play computer games or work extra time and laze in front of the TV after work. You mustn’t be bullied or feel bullied into doing something you don’t want. Don’t wait for your partner to tell you when it’ll be OK to start seeing each other again, make sure it’s a decision you both make together so you understand what your goals were and what goals you were both able to achieve in that time. Try to be strong or strong enough to endure time without your partner. It can be an extremely rewarding decision for both of you, allowing a sense of spiritual freedom. If it’s not doing you any better, then it’s not doing your partner any better. It’s better to communicate this with your partner though. Communicating while you’ve arranged time off does not defeat the purpose of the space. Be yourself. Feel comfortable. Be honest. You can break the space-time continuum.
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Tags: apart, boyfriend, final, frontier, Girlfriend, honest, husband, relationship, Space, the, time, wife
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